My Sweet September

You hold my childhood
and the innocence of my youth
You were the sweetness and purity
of everything that was dear to me

My memories
run rampant
and fill the pages of my mind,
and fill the pages of my mind,
and fill the pages….
of my mind

You smelled like home
I would know you blind,
that sweet lingering scent
of a past unkind 

You are
tear stained ink
on my canvas of art
my picture worth a thousand words
You are
the seed you planted in my heart

You are
my sweet September
the crown of kings
my sweet September
You smelled like dreams

Darkness

Isn’t it easier to love in the darkness?
To be ourselves;
To unmask our sins and monsters;
To hide who we truly are between the shadows….and to lie to each other.

Lie to me;
Lie with me;
To lay with me;

Nothing looks the same in the light;
By candlelight,
don’t we all look like glorious lovers?
The dancing reflections of radiance,
softly caressing the perfect parts of us,
where we want others to look.

Body parts glistening,
looking like diamonds
in perfect shapes
and immaculate brilliance.

I love how she lies to you.
That has to be
one of the greatest justifications
and my vindication.

The truth shall set you free;
although in your case
you find the truth to be a lie
and maybe that is
exactly what you deserve
to lay still in your darkness,
and self-deceit.

Believing what you hear
and not what you see
with your own eyes
and feel to be true
in your own soul.

She is a woman of the night.
Darkness
inside and out.
Her counterfeit beauty comes alive
only between the shadows
of the truths she tells you.

Dirty

His mouth smelled like an ashtray that had been festering for months,
full of toxic nicotine and rot,
teeth unbrushed,
body unbathed,
thoughts impure.

His insides were dark and vile,
going out of his way
with his words
to inflict injurious pain.

He was pure poison,
full of venom and chaos.

So why did you linger around for so long?

Maybe I was bored with the monotony of my own existence…
And somehow addicted to his mayhem;
Comfortable with his insensitivity,
and clung on to his lack of class and empathy.

Maybe knowing how much he intrinsically hated me made it easier to loath the pieces of me that I did;
He gleefully offered me the justification I needed to be the bigger asshole to myself.

And because I didn’t love me enough to leave.

So which one of us was dirty?

Her Story

And God said “Grow”,
as God says to it, “Be!”, and it is.

And she grew;

She grew beyond the dirt;
Broke through the ground that nurtured her;
The earth that provided warmth and love;
The earth that enveloped her;
She grew in His glory;
Blossomed in the freedom to be as He willed;

She drank;
She soaked in the rain which He poured down;
Bathed in His love of His creation;
Washed away sadness and sorrow. 

She swayed;
She swayed whimsically,
From side to side;
Danced in the ambrosial breeze He provided;

She flourished;
She flourished in the midst of the storm and found peace in her creator.

And then she was picked;
She was picked from the earth that embraced her;
And she called out to Him,
“once a flower has been picked, it begins to die”.
And He gently whispered,
“you are the gift I have given them…for once a flower has been picked,
it does not die…

Your colours will provide beauty;
your fragrance will provide joy;
your shape will provide inspiration,
and your roots will provide a lesson”.

And she cried “I am a gift they do not want”;

And He whispered,
“do not fear their disregard for you;
Together we will write a beautiful story;
One that will live on eternally;
For after every hardship comes ease”.  

Grateful

I am…grateful.

Grateful for the way you lifted up your sleeve,
took your hand,
thrust it into my soul and redefined my insides;

I am…grateful.

Grateful for the way my mind still floods with memories or our naked dance;
My hands may never again touch you,
but my mind can’t leave you alone.

I am…grateful.

Grateful for my fiery heart;
The way it beats;
For it danced with the rhythm of yours for as long as our song lasted.

I am…grateful.

Grateful for our exchange of electric energy;
Of each other’s psyche;
That energy;
That energy;
That which produced the experience of one soul in two bodies;
The amalgamation of two, in which neither is an individual.

I am…

Grateful for the powerful connection;
Grateful for the vital part of my life you once were;
Grateful that no distance or duration of silence can prevent,
that burning desire to leap into each other when reunited.

I am…

Grateful for love;
We were made by love;
Made of love;
Made for love;

And I am…grateful.

Grateful for that voice that sends electric pulses to everywhere warm;
Makes everything warm;
Is forever warm.

I am…grateful.

For if one is grateful, he shall be given more.

But not with each other.